#I’m so sad y’all fuck this movie
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sukitaee · 2 years ago
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i am a shyam singha roy lover first, human second
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lavender-femme · 2 years ago
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someday i won’t have to cry myself to sleep. someday i’ll feel warm and loved and wanted and i’ll be wrapped up safely in my beloved’s arms and there won’t be anything worth worrying over. someday i’ll be loved. someday i’ll be seen.
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willstragicapples · 1 year ago
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this is what happened and no one can convince me otherwise <3
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seungfl0wer · 4 months ago
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Hyunjin As Your Boyfriend
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Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Han | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin
Contains Smut🩷
Small note, hyunjin is really just- coming for me lately. So I needed this more than I knew lol
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-🩵
•The hopeless romantic.
•He’s thinking of the best. Date ideas.
•They’re so thought out, so unique and cute-
•Takes you two to the beach for a beautiful picnic.
•Movie nights laying on your bed with a projected on the ceiling so y’all can cuddle.
•Plans cute painting dates.
•Speaking of paintings.
•Has so many doodles, drawings ext that are of you or things that make him think of you.
•Your first date? It’s a painting.
•That one picture he just melts seeing.
•It’s a cute little doodle he keeps in his phone case.
•Loves writings you little notes that you can put in your phone case.
•Loves telling others “that’s my partner”
•Gush’s about you a lot.
•Especially to the members.
•Which he always likes to tease you about them.
•”Ah- y/n why are you talking to innie? I’m right here? Your handsome boyfriend”
•And when you give any of them a hug.
•Mans whining “Right infront of me? How could you. We need to go home and change your clothes of his dirty touch”
•All in good teasing, makes you laugh, makes the members laugh.
•Sits and judges people with you.
•Like you don’t like someone?
•He’s picking up the same vibes but it’s plastered on his face.
•Random dance battles.
•Ending in you both on the floor laughing at each other.
•He’ll do the little “ew” thing to you when you ask for a kiss cause you pout and he just loves that.
•”Ew we can’t kiss! I have a partner”
•Likes to take you traveling with him especially to fashion shows.
•You’re always his plus one for anything.
•Tells you all the time “you should model you’re stunning”
•Ugh and this mans complimenting you so much.
•”My partner is just amazing, they look so pretty, they’re so stunning”
•Tries to learn about stuff you like so you both can do it.
•You like Knitting? He’s learning it.
•You like to play a certain game? He’s trying it out too.
•He gets the big sad when he’s away.
•Literally thinks he’s gonna die.
•Calls you from his room saying “I can’t go on my babies not here with me, it’s been 6 years”
•Dramatic man.
•Sends you so many dumb (cute) little videos.
•Also sends you so many pictures.
•So. Many. Pictures.
•Also listen- yall getting matching jewelry.
•Because he’ll be on tour and see these cute bracelets and need to get them for the both of you.
•He’s a really good gift giver too.
•Not that you want him too, and no matter how much you protest.
•He finds the most you gift. Like it’s scary.
•Overall this man is such a hopeless romantic.
•Be ready to be treated like a god.
•Cause honestly that’s how he views you.
︵‿︵‿୨Smut Below୧‿︵‿︵
•He’s just as romantic in the bedroom.
•Does the whole rose peddles to the bed.
•Candles, good music ext.
•His favorite way of fucking you is anyway he can see your face.
•He just wants to be able to kiss you.
•Hands frantically touching your body.
•Also think he’s very vocal. Not so much talking.
•More of he has his head in your neck moaning and groaning.
•Is definitely leaving marks on you. Thinks they’re pretty.
•Im a firm believer that he loves when you ride him facing him.
•He can hold onto tightly, hands running all over you.
•Both of your faces contorting in pleasure.
•Likes when you suck or bite his neck.
•Honestly probably likes when you choke him. Not hard but just enough.
•If he does talk it’s him whimpering about how good you feel or how good you’re doing.
•If you got tittie he sucking them. Feel like he’s a tittie kinda guy.
•Man also really enjoys shower sex.
•It’s just so so intimate.
•And this. This is the most loving kind of sex.
•It’s normally when he is really needy and just wants you.
•The feeling of the warm water while he fucks you makes him cum so fast.
•He just loves loves it.
•Aftercare with him is a lot of loving words.
•Cuddling on the bed as he pushes his hair out of your face.
•Telling you how much he loves you.
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵
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sleepyjuice · 5 months ago
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10, maybe reader on her period abd jj js being all sweet 🤭🤭
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a/n: idk if y’all remember my little blurb about jj accidentally hurting you during sex bc reader has endometriosis, but this is in that same universe <3
It was Thursday night, which was also your weekly movie night with jj. Since you had started dating, you had only missed one Thursday night movie night, and that was only because you were sick and dead to the world.
You and jj stuck to the routine pretty well. So when he hadn’t heard from you in hours, and it was nearing 8 at night, he truly started to worry that something had happened to you.
You usually met up around 5 to pick up some snacks from the store and you would either go back to your house or the chateau, very rarely jj’s house if Luke wasn’t home or was in jail again.
Today, however, you were supposed to meet at the chateau. That was 3 hours ago.
jj had texted and called you numerous times, giving you the benefit of the doubt that something had come up, but as the hours passed, he decided he was done waiting.
He hopped on his bike and made his way to your house, speeding a little bit more than he usually did as his anxiety refused to settle.
He knocked on your front door once he arrived, only giving you about thirty seconds to open it before he tried the knob, which happened to be unlocked.
His heart was racing at this point, immediately assuming something horrible had happened. He mentally cursed himself for not having his gun on him.
He cautiously peered around the living room and kitchen, seeing no signs of distress, so he approached your shut bedroom door, pulling it open as he subconsciously held his breath, preparing for the absolute worst case scenario.
But there you were, curled up in your bed, heating pad plugged into the outlet in the wall, bottle of advil sitting opened on your nightstand, your phone resting right side up right next to your still hand and you were dead to the world.
jj let out the breath he was holding, running his fingers through his hair as he softly padded over to your bed, taking a seat on the edge beside your sleeping body.
“Babe,” he cooed, pushing your hair out of your face, leaning down to kiss your soft forehead.
You stirred a bit, consciousness slowly hitting you as you fluttered your eyes open to spot jj sitting right beside you.
It took you a moment to collect your thoughts, gasping quietly as you realized what day it was, and from the darkness poking through your window, you could tell that it was evening now.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” You looked up at your boyfriend, blinking furiously as tears threatened to spill from your heavy eyes. He had to have been worried sick. Your cramps had beaten the fuck out of you and you told yourself you were just going to lay down with the heating pad for a little bit, not expecting to completely knock out.
jj shook his head quickly, scooting closer to you to play with your slightly messed up hair, seeing the guilt and sadness in your eyes.
“No, no, it’s okay. I was just worried something happened to you.” He explained before gesturing down to the heating pad that was still pressed against your abdomen.
“I see what happened though. Thought you weren’t supposed to start till next week?” He spoke, tone still gentle.
You audibly groaned at that, rubbing your eyes with your palms.
“Yeah, I thought so, too. Love me a nice surprise.” You grumbled sarcastically, your heart warming at the fact that jj had also memorized your cycle. It wasn’t purely due to sex, but he knew how bad your periods were for you and wanted to do anything he could to help you through it. If he would have had more warning, he would have arrived with snacks.
As you became fully conscious, the pain that you attempted to sleep off was already making its presence known again, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut as you waited for this particularly long cramp to fizzle out. You absentmindedly reached for jj’s hand, giving it a small squeeze as you sighed shakily.
“I’m sorry baby,” he frowned, his brows furrowed as he held his hand firmly for you to grasp, watching your face intently for any signs that the pain lessened, “how long ago did you take the advil? You can probably take more, right?”
You opened your eyes again as the pain became slightly more bearable, meeting jj’s concerned gaze. You knew what was going through his head. One thing about jj is that he could not stand to feel helpless. Watching his loved ones in pain or in trouble while he couldn’t physically do anything to help, killed him. His loved ones were everything to him. It was a small circle, and it was truly ride or die.
So even just the fact that you were cramping whilst on your period bugged him, mainly because he couldn’t physically reach inside your body and force it to stop hurting.
Your grip on jj’s hand loosened a bit, no longer squeezing it. You nodded your head in response, reaching behind you to grab the bottle of pills before popping one in your mouth and swallowing it.
“I’m sorry for scaring you,” you sighed, now playing absently with his ring clad fingers, “I’m really sad I missed movie night.”
jj shook his head at that, planting several more kisses across your forehead, the last one lingering a bit longer than the others.
“Nah, baby, quit apologizing. It’s only 8, we still got plenty of time. Now, is there anything I can do to help my girl?” He asked you, hoping that if you were gonna be in pain all night, he could at least offer you a sense of emotional comfort.
“Can you stay?” You asked immediately, pulling softly at his hand.
He couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at his lips, being quick to kick his shoes off and lower himself down to lay next to you, pulling you close to him.
He gave you the freedom to adjust yourself whichever way was the most comfortable, your head on his chest as he lay on his back, his arm resting above you as you relaxed against him, sighing into the fabric of his shirt. His smell was nothing short of comforting to you. It was familiar, it gave you love, and it was jj.
“If you feel up to it a little bit later, I can run you a bath. You should still have those bath salts from last time, yeah?” He murmured against the top of your head, resting his chin comfortably against you.
“Mhm…” you mumbled, your eyes already beginning to feel heavy once again.
jj smiled to himself, not responding as he wanted to let you sleep again, knowing that was one of the only things that truly helped you.
He would lay with you all night, holding you safely in his arms. He would end up hot and a bit sweaty from the heat that radiated from your heating pad, but he wouldn’t let it bother him in the slightest.
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lianaloverr · 1 year ago
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Your safe with me
Paring: Sam Golbach x Fem!reader
Summary: your boyfriend just broke up with you after admitting to cheating on you, and you had to break the news to Sam.
Warnings: fluffy, some cussing, softy sam
Hey y’all!! Told u a fic was coming this weekend and I delivered! I hope u all enjoy this as much as I loved writing it! Not proofread. Just to say, Sam and Kat are NOT dating!!
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Proudly my gif!
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“Y/n it’s gonna be okay.” Kat says, as she and Colby try to comfort you. “Yea, don’t cry about him, he was a dick anyways.” Colby says while patting your shoulder.
“But not only did he break up with me, he cheated on me too!” You say while balling your eyes out. “I know, I know” Kat says and Colby nods.
Your boyfriend now ex broke up with you and had the audacity to cheat on you too, you were pissed and sad. You gave that man everything, you let him stay with you, you bought him stuff, you even let him shut out a bunch of your friends because he “didn’t like them and their attitude”.
“Have you told Sam?” Kat asks as you snap out of your thoughts. “No.” You say with your stuffed nose visibly heard. “I think you should tell him, he needs to know.” Colby says.
“Yea, I should huh?” You say to Kat and Colby as you start to grab your keys.
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You pull up to Sam’s house ready to tell him everything that went down, you come up in the driveway and sigh. “Here we go.”
You knock on the door, waiting for him to answer. Suddenly, the door opens and you see your best friend of 12 years standing in your face, probably watching you go through your 100th break up.
“Hey y/n, why are you crying? Are you okay?” Sam says worried. “He broke up with me and cheated too.” You tell him. And you see his face instantly soften up. “Oh my god y/n come in” he says
☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎☹︎
“ what happened?” He says. “Well he texted me out for the blue, saying that he cheated on me and that he wanted to break up.” You say as he listens to every word.
“What the fuck dude?” You hear Sam say as he is pasting around the room. “Okay but, are you okay?” He asks. “Yea, now that I’m with you.” You say honestly.
You feel a sudden warmth of your best friend hugging you like the world was ending. “Listen, I will never let anyone hurt you. If you want me to beat someone’s ass, I’ll do it. I just want you to know, I love you so so much.” Sam tells you. “I love you too.” You say. “How about we get some ice cream and watch a movie huh?” Sam says and you nod.
࿎࿎
As you and Sam are watching a movie, you can’t help but to think back to when he said he loves you. You and him always said you loved each other, but this time felt different.
You had always had feelings for Sam, but since you guys were best friends you never tried to get with him and tried to distract yourself with boyfriends and one night-stands.
“Sam, I’m tired do you mind if I crash here?” You ask. “Yes of course, you know I’m not gonna say no.” He says with a chuckle. “Okay, thank you..” you say as you drift of to sleep.
As you close your eyes, you hear Sam say one more thing.
“Don’t worry y/n, you’re safe with me.”
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Heyy guys! I hoped you enjoyed reading this! Sorry it’s so short lol. But thank you for reading, I appreciate your support and everything. Lmk if you want anything else for Sam or anyone else on my masterlist!! Love u all and see you on the next fic!
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tiredcreatur3 · 1 year ago
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toji fucking you in a pillow fort please 😘
“b-be careful!” you’d whimper out, watching the male get into the pillow fort all clumsily as he was trying to make his wide shoulders fit in the entrance, having you worried that the effort you put into it would come to waste.
“don’t worry baby, i got this, see?” he’d chuckle after being able to sit down next to you, it being quite spacious actually, just the opening was a lil too tight for toji but he managed to fit in alright.
and after watching a movie or two and eating some snacks, the two of you began to make out after few lil innocent kisses, having the older rub at your tits and pussy through your undies, your legs falling apart the second his hands touched your body.
his fingers would find their way into your panties, slipping under the lining of them, rubbing at your sensitive lil nub, kissing you hungrily yet so carefully, trying his best not to move too much so he wouldn’t ruin the pillow fort you put so much effort into building.
fitting one, then two and then three of his fingers inside your sweet lil cunt, he thrusted them in and out swiftly, having you curled up in his arms, your small hands gripping on his forearm that was wrapped around you, panties long gone slipped off and shirt pushed up, nipples all hard and red from the male’s rough hands playing with them.
your legs curling and shaking on the soft blankets you set on the floor so the space in the fort was as comfy as possible, so fucking wet and out of it that you could barely think, cuddling up to the older, clinging onto him like a tick.
he curled his fingers inside your little hungry pussy, watching them go in and out, listening to those wet sounds and your quiet shaky sighs.
“i want you inside me..” you let out, looking up to the male, breath all messed up.
“but what if i mess up the fort honey? you put so much effort into it, i can’t do that to you.” he whispered softly to you, carefully running his fingers through your hair, obviously teasing you, stroking your warm insides nice and deep.
“you h-have to be careful and fuck me here right now, okay?” you said, kissing the male, whining against his lips, holding your legs back nicely.
and oh, he could never say no to you, of course. not when you were adorable like that, all needy for his dick, begging him to show it in and fuck you raw just like that, surrounded by the softest blankets and pillows y’all had, knowing you must’ve felt safer and better than ever which turned him the fuck on.
seeing you tense up and then go completely limp under him after he pushes his cock inside you would always be his favorite thing to see, shirt hunched up, tits bouncing up and down as you held your legs back and he fucked you hard, yet being careful enough not to mess up the fort so you wouldn’t be sad afterwards.
“i’m gonna cum t-to.. i’m gonna fuckin’ cum.” you cried out, staring up at the older, all of this turning you on so fucking bad, feeling so safe and sound yet nasty and perverted for the cute idea of having a lil movie night date gone to the male fucking you like a slut.
safe to say that the fort lasted even after three rounds of fucking but toji getting out in the morning unfortunately was the breaker point.
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maddyjones2 · 3 months ago
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On not idolising creative people
In the wake of the various recent allegations involving Neil Gaiman, people have been both very sad that someone who they looked up to as an inspiration has, allegedly, turned out to be something less than entirely admirable, and are now looking to see who is now left that they can rotate into the spot of “the good dude,” i.e., that one successful creative guy who they think or at least hope isn’t hiding a cellar full of awful actions. One name I see brought up is mine, in ways ranging from “Well, at least we still have Scalzi,” to “Oh, God, please don’t let Scalzi be a fucking creep too.” Which, uhhhh, yeah? Thanks?
I have many thoughts about this and I’m going to try to make sense of them here, as much for myself as anyone else, so this may be messy and discursive and long (seriously, 3600 words, y’all), but, well, welcome to me. So, ordered by how these things come out of my head:
1. Stop Idolizing Creative People. Creative people are easy to idolize because they create the art you love, and that gives you permission to feel things, and to see yourself and your desires reflected in that art. That is a powerful thing, and from the outside, it can feel like magic, and that the people who do it are tapped into something otherworldly and admirable. Plus, they often get to have cool lives and get to know other cool creative people. They do things that are removed from the day-to-day aspect of a “normal” life, and they’ll even post about them on social media where you can see them. Sometimes, independent of their art directly, they’ll speak about their life, or life in general, and they’ll seem wise and considered and kind. I mean, what’s not to like?
But please consider that this is all an extremely mediated experience of this person. The art is the edited and massaged result of hours and days and weeks and months of work, into which the work of many others is also added. My novels originate from me, but it’s not just me in there, nor is the final form of the novel an accurate statement of who I am as a person, not least of all for the simple reason that I am not trying to tell my story in my novels. I’m creating fictional characters, and the world in which they make sense, for the purpose of the story.
Despite how it might look from the outside, this is not sorcery. It’s years of experience at a craft. It’s not magic, just work. A completed novel (or any other piece of art) won’t tell you much about the specific, day-to-day life and inclinations of the individual who made it, other than a general nod toward their competence, and the competence of their collaborators. Likewise what you see of their lives, even from the illusorily close vantage of social media, is deeply mediated. Lives always look admirable at a distance, when you can only see the lofty peaks and not the rubble at the base — especially when your attention by design is pointed at those lofty peaks. There’s much you don’t see and that you’re not meant to see. The vast majority of what you’re not meant to see isn’t nefarious. It’s just not your business.
Now, before I was a professional creative person, I was an entertainment journalist who spent years interviewing writers, directors, movie stars, musicians, authors and other creative folks. Since I’ve been on the other side of the rope, I’ve likewise met a huge range of creative people from all walks of life. Please believe me when I assure you that creative people are just people. Richer and/or more famous? Sometimes (less often than you might think, though). Prettier and/or more charismatic? Especially if they’re actors or pop stars, often yes! But at the end of the day they are just folks, and they run the whole range of how people are. By and large, the day-to-day experience of getting through their life is the same as yours. Outside of their own specific field of work, they don’t know any more about life, have no more facility for dealing with the world, and have just as few clues about what’s going on in their own head, as anyone else.
They’re just people. Whose work is making the stuff you like! And that’s great, but that’s not a substantive basis for idolizing them. It makes no more sense to idolize them than to idolize a baker who makes cookies you like, or the guy who comes and trims your hedges the way you want them to be trimmed, or the plumber who fixes your clogged drain. You can appreciate what they do, and even admire they skill they have. But holding them up as a life model might be a bit much. Which is the point! If you’re not willing to idolize a plumber, then you shouldn’t idolize a creative person.
(“But a plumber doesn’t make me feel like a creative person does,” you say, to which I say, are you sure about that? Because I will tell you what, when my sump pump stopped working and the plumber got in there, replaced the pump and started draining out my basement which had an inch of standing water in it, that man was the focus of all my emotions and was my goddamned hero that day. My plumber that day did more for me than easily 90% of the great art I’ve ever experienced.)
Enjoy the art creative people do. Enjoy the experience of them in the mediated version of them you get online and elsewhere, if such is your joy. But remember that the art is from the artist, not the artist themselves, and the version of their life you see is usually just the version they choose to show. There is so much you don’t see, and so much you’re not meant to see. At the end of the day, you don’t have all the information about who they are that you would need to make them your idol, or someone you might choose to, in some significant way, pattern some fraction of your life on. And anyway creative people aren’t any better at life than anyone else.
Which brings up the next point:
2. Fuck idols anyway! People are complicated and contradictory and you don’t know everything about them! You don’t know everything even about your parents or siblings or best friends or your partner! People are hypocrites and liars and fail to live up to their own standards for themselves, much less yours! Your version of them in your head will always be different than the version that actually exists in the world! Because you’re not them! Stop pretending people won’t be fuck ups! They will! Always!
This sounds more pessimistic about humans than perhaps it should be. When I say, for example, that people are hypocrites and liars, I don’t mean that people take every single opportunity to be hypocrites and liars. Most people are decent in the moment. But none of us — not one! — has always lived up to our own standard of behavior, and all of us have had the moment where, when confronted with a situation that would become an immense pain in the ass if we stuck to our guns, or demanded the inconvenient truth, decided to just bail instead, because the situation wasn’t worth the drama, or we had somewhere else to be, or whatever. We all choose battles and we all make the call in the moment, and sometimes the call is, fuck this, I’m out.
Every person you’ve ever admired has fucked up, sometimes really badly. Everyone you’ve ever looked up to has secrets, and it’s possible some of those secrets would materially change how you think about them, not always for the better. Everyone you’ve ever known has things about them you don’t know, many of which aren’t even secrets, they’re just things you don’t engage with in your day-to-day experience of them. Nevertheless it’s possible if you were aware of them, it would change how you feel about them, for better or for worse. And now let’s flip that around! You have things about you that even your best friends don’t know, and might be surprised to learn! You have secrets you don’t wish to share with the class! You have fucked up, and lied, and have been a hypocrite too!
You are, in short, a human, as is everyone you know and every one you will know (pets and gregarious wild animals excepted). And all humans are, charitably, a mess. This doesn’t mean there aren’t good people or even exemplary people out there, since there are, along with the ones that are, charitably, a real shit show. What I am saying is that even the good or exemplary people out there are a mess, have been morally compromised at some point in their lives, and have not lived up to their own standards for themselves, independent of anyone else’s standard for them.
One of the aspects of being an “idol,” I think, is that higher standard that other people expect of you — that in every situation where the aspect they idolize you for is in play, you will act in a manner that is right and correct by their standard, which of course you will likely not know about because you don’t actually know them (or often know that they exist). This is, by definition, an impossible standard to be held to — you didn’t agree to it, or to engage with it — and an impossible standard to hold other people to without their direct consultation. Every human made to be an idol is destined to fail at the job. You don’t even have to have feet of clay! You just didn’t know you were on a pedestal to begin with.
(This does not excuse shitty action. The fact people should not be idols in the first place is not exculpatory for the choices one makes on one’s own. If you’re sexually assaulting people, or being a racist or sexist or homophobe or other flavor of bigot, or using your situational power coercively (as just a few examples), then hell yes you are going to be called out on it. And to be clear, it is not unreasonable, to put it mildly, to expect people not to sexually assault other people, or not to denigrate other humans for being who they are, etc. But this only adds to the point about idols, now, doesn’t it. You don’t know what you don’t see, and you don’t know what you’re not seeing, until it is hauled out into the light one way or the other. If it is hauled out into the light at all.)
I don’t think anyone should idolize anyone, ever. It’s not great for them, and it’s not great for you, they probably didn’t ask to be idolized (and if they did, holy shit, fucking run), and in the end unless you’re so completely wrapped up in their lives that they have no secrets from you — which is never — you don’t know enough to make that call. People do it anyway, and then disappointment happens, but they shouldn’t have done it in the first place. Stop idolizing people. It’s not fair for anyone.
What to do instead? Enjoy their work, if they’re a creative person. Appreciate the kind and good aspects of their life that you can see, and the decent actions they undertake in public, with the knowledge that what you see of them is a mediated and elided version. Understand that we all have a different version of ourself for every person we meet, and that every person we meet has a different vision of ourselves in their head, and very often, those two versions are not the same. Like them, based on what you know of them! Love them, if it comes to that. And when and if you learn something new about them that you didn’t know before, let empathy guide you to a new understanding of them and what they mean to you.
And now, taking all of the above into consideration:
3. Absolutely 100% do not idolize me. I don’t deserve to be idolized because no one deserves to be idolized, but also, holy fuck, I do know me and I’m a mess. There have been lots of things in my life that I’ve done that have not been admirable or kind. I can be petty and shitty and competitive and cruel. I am lazy and inattentive and when I let things slide (which is often), I end up jammed up on my responsibilities, which makes me irritable and no fun to be around. I have a temper which goes from zero to sixty almost instantaneously; if I’m not actively paying attention to it, I can become a sudden, unreasonable rage monster, which is a burden to people I love, and I hate that fact about myself (pro tip: don’t travel with me, the rage monster comes out a lot then).
I can be controlling and demanding but I want other people to handle the details, i.e., executive asshole. I am strategic in a way that can be bloodless. When I’m insecure I brag a lot, which is unflattering. If you cross me, I won’t go out of my way to make your life miserable (that would require effort on my part), but I will absolutely enjoy when you take a literal or metaphorical tumble down the stairs. God knows I’ve enjoyed the failures of the people who have spoken ill of me, almost as much as I’ve enjoyed the fuming, spittling rage they’ve felt when I’ve succeeded. I spent years cultivating a snarky persona online and while that was fun (for me), I’m increasingly aware that when the tally is added up for Who Ruined the Internet, I’m not necessarily going to be where I want to be on that particular ledger.
And these are only the bad qualities of mine I wish to admit to you at the moment. There are others, I assure you.
So, yes: Who wants to idolize me now?
“But you seemed so nice when I chatted with you online/met you at the convention/saw you at that one place that one time.” Well, thank you, I’ve been in the public eye in one manner or another for three and a half decades now and I understand my assignment; my public persona is friendly and engaging and sociable and mostly fun to be with. It’s not a fake version of me — I am all those things! Honest! — but, again, it’s a mediated version of me designed not only to be a positive experience for the people who meet me but also to get my actually introverted ass through a whole day of events at a convention/festival/book tour/whatever. When I’m done I collapse into an introverted hole. When I came back from Worldcon this week, I slept for 15 hours the first day I was home. It wasn’t just because of jet lag or con crud.
I rather famously call my public face “performance monkey mode,” and likewise what I say about my (current) online mode is that I’m cosplaying as a better version of myself, one that is kinder than I used to be online, and more patient than I am in the real world. If you meet me when I am “off” then you will find that, again, these versions of me are me, just with some things dialed up and other things dialed down. But even that is still a different version of me than, say, the version of me which is at home (which is in fact extremely boring; that version of me doesn’t talk much and mostly stays in my office).
Many of you who have followed me over the years are familiar with me saying things like this, of course, and are likewise familiar with me pointing out that there are a number of things about my life that I don’t mention in public, for whatever reasons I choose. But it’s also true that I’ve been actively online for 30+ years now, and people feel reasonably confident that they have a good bead on me and that there’s not much about me that will surprise them or change their understanding of me. So to bring home the point there are indeed things you don’t know, allow me to surface just one previously unaired fun fact:
I have a concealed carry license.
(Or did; it expired this year and I didn’t renew it, because Ohio changed its laws so that you no longer need a permit to conceal carry in the state. These days in Ohio you can just wander about with a handgun stuffed down your trousers without training or licensing because that’s a real good idea, now, isn’t it. Nevertheless, the license is not necessary anymore so there was not much point in renewing it, although if the law had not changed, I probably would have renewed.)
Why did I have a concealed carry license? Well, ultimately that’s not important. The point is I had one. I didn’t talk about it before because, among other things, the point of a concealed carry license (to me, anyway) is that its existence is not meant to be known by anyone other than that great state of Ohio itself. I am aware, and this is a dramatic understatement, that I am not a person most people would expect to have had such a thing. That the fact I had one will cause a number of people to reconsider what they know about me, for better or for worse. Which is also my point. All y’all have just learned this thing about me! Think about all the other things you don’t know!
Oh, God, this is where Scalzi starts admitting to terrible, terrible things. No. I feel pretty confident I live a tolerably ethical life. Part of the reason for this is that I have what I think is a decent operating principle, which is: If I’m thinking of doing something, and Krissy called me right then and asked “what are you doing?” and I would be tempted to lie to her about it, then I don’t do that thing. Because Krissy is the most important person in my life, and I don’t want to lie to her about what I’m doing (I have lied to her exactly once. She knew instantly. I haven’t bothered lying to her since). This is not replacing Krissy’s ethics with my own; it’s me knowing whether by my own ethics, I would be ashamed to tell to her what I am up to. It works very well. As such, the Krissy Test is an operating principle I highly suggest to others, although I’d suggest replacing Krissy with whomever your life is most important to you.
Be that as it may, my ethics are not universal and some others might not find them sufficient, for whatever reason. I am well aware I still disappoint many people, and that there are people who find my life choices, known positions or public statements (or lack of them, as the case may be) problematic, or who simply wish I would be other than what I am. I can’t help them with this, but again, this is the point. Given the fact that I am a fallible human who has an entire stratum of his life not visible to the world — and the strata of his life that are visible cause significant numbers of people to be irritated and exasperated — is it not better just to not hold me up as an ideal person, or the “good dude,” much less an idol of any sort?
I mean, shit. What Would John Scalzi Do? Solidly half the time, I have no fucking idea. I have to think about it, whatever it is. I have to think about whether I know enough to do or say something about it. I have to decide whether it’s something I want to engage with at all, and whether my engagement with it is something that would be of value to anyone, me included. I have to decide whether engaging with it is worth the shit I will get for it. And then I have to figure out what it means that I am engaging with it, since like it or not I’m a Dude of Reasonable Significance in My Field. I try to be a decent human, when people are looking at me and especially when they are not. But I also know me, and all my flaws and weaknesses and compromises.
What Would John Scalzi Do? The best he can, in the moment. Is that sufficient? For me, yes, most of the time. Is that sufficient for you? That’s up to you.
The point to this all is that people are just a big fucking mess, including the ones you might for whatever reason find admirable. I am no different than anyone else, and you should not be under the illusion that I am anything other than a shambling collection of flaws embedded inside a human form, which also, in its defense, has some pretty excellent qualities as well. We’re all this way! You too!
And while I want you to like my work, and to enjoy the version of me that you see here and elsewhere, don’t put me, or any other person, on a pedestal. Pedestals are wobbly and and don’t give actual humans a lot of room to move. We will inevitably fall off. Keep us with our feet on the ground. That way, when we stumble, there’s a chance we can get back up, and keep going.
— JS
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xoxoxplr · 1 month ago
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ART THE CLOWN X FEM READER!
let me know if y’all want the smut that goes with this one!
your pov:
it was around 3 am. art was gone off with one of his kills. but you can’t shake the feeling that you feel off, your body feels off. you remember what you and art did but he didn’t have the power for that did he? he’s a demon. he couldn’t. right? you get up slowly and walk to your bathroom in the dark. you finally reach the bathroom and turn on the light, you grab a test out of the cabinet and take it. you bought those pack of test “just incase” this is your first time ever taking one. since your first time was with art.
you finish taking the test and lay it on the counter. you walk back to your room and talk to yourself. “if i am he will probably kill me.” “He probably doesn’t really like me like that.” you say to yourself. tears are streaming down your face at this point. it’s been a bit so you go to retrieve the test from the bathroom. you walk in take a long , slow deep breath and look.
positive.
“fuck.”
is all you can say.
you cry yourself to sleep mascara running down your face as thoughts poor through your head.
you look at the clock
4:52am
you fall asleep.
about 1 hour later you hear a creaking at your door. it’s art. you freeze and just act asleep. he walks into your room and sees you asleep. he gets in bed next to you and notices you have been crying. he gives you a shake and you turn over to face him.
“hi art”
he waves then points to your runny mascara.
“oh it’s nothing just a sad movie is all.”
he knows your lying.
he gets up and grabs a note pad
“what is it” he writes.
“art.”
he makes a motion for you to continue talking.
“i’m pregnant.”
Thanks for reading. part 2 coming out tonight!
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dearly-somber · 1 year ago
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Naked | j.jk
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-> pairing. wolf shifter!jungkook x human!reader (f)
-> genre. slow burn, eventual romance, fluff, pining, f2l (friends-to-lovers), eventual smut, humor, angst, drama
-> w/c. 1729
-> rating. 13+
-> a/n. Thank you all so much for the love for this couple, y’all have motivated me a lot and I can’t put into words how much I appreciate it <33
-> warnings. suggestive; a lil’ ✨angsty✨
-> collection. mini-series
-> started. Jun. 30th, 2022 @ 18:25
-> fin. Mon., Jul. 30th, 2022 @ 23:27
-> edited. Thurs., Oct. 9th, 2023 @ 12:33
-> divider credit. @mmadeinheavenn
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Finding out that your best friend turns into a glorified dog isn’t something you had on your bingo card this year.
You were staying over at Jungkook’s house to finish a History project worth 25% of your final grade, but you ended up falling asleep halfway through. (Oops!)
When you woke up, it wasn’t to the annoyingly smug expression of one incredibly chuffed Jeon Jungkook, but to the silky smooth fur and wet-nosed touch of a fully grown wolf.
You screamed like a shower victim in an 80s horror movie and fell off the bed with a painful thud, the wolf peeking over the edge of the bed with a strangely concerned yip. You screamed again and pushed yourself to your feet, booking it downstairs two at a time (a maneuver that would’ve cost you your life any other day) before slamming into Jisoo halfway through the living room. You held onto her arms with wide, frightened eyes.
You were on the verge of tears, panicking to Jisoo about how “there’s a fucking wolf in Jungkook’s bedroom and oh god I think it ate him oh my god,” when Jungkook barreled down the stairs while pulling a crinkled black tee over his stomach.
Jisoo glared at the maknae, looking pointedly at you (Lisa had taken hold of your shoulders and tried helping you through breathing exercises) and then back at him, her hands on her hips. “What happened?”
Jungkook looked between the two of you, a particularly pained look crossing his face at your glossy eyes and heaving shoulders. “I’m— I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he mumbles.
“You couldn’t just fall asleep normally?” Jisoo snapped exasperatedly, ignoring your confused back-and-forth looks.
“He wouldn’t stop whining and making a fuss and I didn’t think she’d wake up so soon!” Jungkook yelled desperately, looking nearly as upset as you felt.
“Wait, wait, wait. You guys are—where’s the wolf?” you asked incredulously, wiping furiously at your eyes as you strode forward to stand next to Jisoo.
“He’s—he’s not out anymore… And he wouldn’t dream of hurting you,” Jungkook said, stepping toward you with his arms open. You took a panicked step back, confused and scared and so, so lost.
“Are you telling me… Are you a werewolf?”
“Shifter,” Yoongi corrected from where he was lounging on the couch (you hadn’t noticed him in your panic). “Why do you humans always assume we’re werewolves?”
“You shapeshift into a wolf. That makes you a werewolf,” you sassed, quickly backing away at his intense, annoyed glare.
Jisoo sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering something under her breath before turning an accusatory glare on Jungkook. “Take your friend upstairs and explain to her what’s going on. I’ll talk to Namjoon.”
Jungkook nodded obediently, a solemn look on his face as he reached for your wrist so he could tug you upstairs, wincing back when you flinched away from his touch.
He clenched and unclenched his fingers before dropping his hand to his side, beckoning you to follow him. “C’mon. We should talk.”
You sit with Jungkook on his bed, waiting for him to look up from his lap so he can finally explain to you what the fuck is going on.
You bite the inside of your cheek, eyes drifting to his hands. He’s picking at his nails, refusing to meet your eyes. As confused and shocked as you are, you can’t let him get in his head. His crestfallen face does dirty-dirty things to your heart, banging it up for making him look so sad.
You take a deep breath and reach to hold his hands in yours. Jungkook meets your eyes, his lip wobbling at the soft, patient look in your eyes. You squeeze his hand encouragingly, smiling at the way his eyes light up hopefully at your acceptance.
He inhales shakily and closes his eyes. “Me and my family are shifters. We have full control over when we shift, and we share a close connection with our wolves. Our souls are connected to help with the transitions between wolf and human, a thoughtful gift from our ancestors.
“I moved to Seoul when I was fifteen to try and find my own pack, and I met Jiminie hyung on the train ride over from Busan. We met Yoongi hyung at the bus stop outside of the train station and he offered to help us find the hostel we booked. Somewhere along the journey he must’ve taken a liking to us, because we were moving into the pack house the next day.”
Jungkook laughed fondly at the recollection, the tenseness in his shoulders gone as he spoke to you normally. “We’ve been training ever since to get better at controlling when we shift. Among…other things.” He blushes.
“I didn’t mean to scare you today,” he whispers.
You bite the inside of your cheek. A shifter. That was his explanation for…everything. The affection, the borderline-obsession with your scent, why he’s staying with a bunch of strangers instead of his parents.
Surprisingly, believing him isn’t the hardest part about the new information. “You guys… aren’t dangerous?”
“No,” Jungkook denies firmly, his thumb running over the back of your hand.
“Is that why you’re so touchy? Because of the…wolfier part of you?”
Jungkook scrunches his nose at your choice of words, but smiles softly. “Yeah. Physical closeness is normal and integral to shifter relationships,” he explains. “We have this thing called scenting, which is basically a more…concentrated way of showing affection. It’s also a way to kind of…claim you, I guess. To show you’re part of the pack.”
“But isn’t scenting a thing only mated wolves do?” you ask, frowning at the implications that would have on your relationship.
Jungkook shakes his head. “No, scenting can be romantic or plutonic. It’s dependent on where you scent,” he explains. “Couples usually do what we call ‘marking’, but I’ve heard about people who mark platonically.”
“Marking…as in?” You shift curiously. Shifter culture and biology is going to be something you ask a lot about, you think.
Jungkook blushes, avoiding your eyes as he clears his throat. Finally, he says, “Biting.”
“Biti—Jungkook,” you say, “you bit me a few days ago—“
He must hear the accusation in your voice because he frantically shakes his head. “No, no, no! That was play, I swear. Marking is much more… intimate.” Jungkook’s ears turn pink at the suspicious look you give him.
There’s a long beat of silence where you just kind of…stare at each other.
Jungkook can’t read you. He can’t help the tremble in his voice and the wobbling of his lower lip, looking at your intertwined hands. “You think it’s scary and unnatural, don’t you?”
“Jungkook…”
He smiles sadly. “It’s okay, I get it. We don’t have to be friends any—“
“Yah,” you furrow your brows with a squeeze of his hands, making him look at you. “I still wanna be your friend, Koo. This actually… explains a lot. It’s just a lot to take in,” you confess.
He still looks unsure of himself. And because you can’t stand seeing him sad, you shift toward him and bring your arms around his torso in a hug. He sniffles, burying his nose into your shoulder as his hands drift to the center of your back, clutching the fabric between his fingers.
It’s peaceful in his arms. Quiet. The only sound in the room is that of your combined breathing. Maybe he can even hear your heartbeat? You bite the inside of your cheek, patting his back gently. You wonder how it all works? They must shift pretty quickly, considering Jungkook had been downstairs only a minute or two after you. And he was pulling a shirt on when he was coming down the stairs…
“I don’t mean to be insensitive,” you pull away to look at him properly, “but what happens to your clothes when you transform? Do you like… do you get” —you gesture around vaguely, whispering— “naked before it starts?”
Jungkook snorts, his eyes glossy and cheeks pink. But, hey! At least he’s smiling!
He grins boyishly and shakes his head. “Way to ruin the moment,” he teases. “But uh, yeah. Our clothes rip when we shift, so we try to undress beforehand.”
“You’ve seen each other naked?“ you ask incredulously, eyes wide. Jungkook blushes pink at your reaction, nodding while sheepishly scratching the back of his head. “Even… the girls?”
He whines, hiding his face in his hands. You gape at his pink ears, malfunctioning for a second. Jungkook’s seen boobs and ass. And probably more than that, too. You rub at your neck to distract yourself from the blush you feel crawling up your throat.
“It’s normal!” Jungkook defends himself, still blushing furiously as he waves his hands around wildly, pouting. “You’re making it weird…”
“I” —you gape at him— “what? You’re the one who’s seen your friends’ jun-mfh—“ you laugh into Jungkook’s hand as he smacks it over your mouth, yelling at you to shut up before they hear!
You laugh breathlessly and tell him that you’ll be quiet, reassuring him three, four, five times before he finally lets you go.
He sits back on his knees with his feet folded underneath him. “Let’s forget this conversation ever happened,” Jungkook says, shivering exaggeratedly to make his point.
You giggle and shake your head as your smile slips. You stare at him until he meets your eyes, and smile softly when he does. “Thank you for telling me.”
He nods, smiling down at his hands. The two of you stay like that for what feels like hours, basking in each others’ presence and getting familiar with this newly shared secret.
“Can I…” Jungkook nibbles his lip, hope shining behind his eyes. “Can I scent you?”
You snort, pushing his face away with a lighthearted smile. “Never in a million years, Jeon.”
“Bunny,” he whines childishly, righting himself into a sitting position after almost toppling off the edge of his bed before clasping his hands in front of him. “Please? I promise it’ll feel good!”
“Stop!”
“Yah, you’re the one making it sound weird!”
“Fine! I guess I’ll go tell your hyungs and noonas about how dirty their precious maknae i—“
“DON’T YOU DARE!”
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creepycranberry · 11 days ago
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Sweet man
Rafe Cameron x fem! Reader
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drugs, addiction. Cursing. Not proofread. I think that’s it.
->->->->->
Your friends meant well, they really did. they tried their best to watch after you and warn you about him but every time they tried you countered their points and ignored their pointed looks when you simply told them that they didn’t know him like you did.
JJ was so pissed at you constantly, Kie would judge you silently and John B would keep his mouth shut. You felt like you were walking on eggshells every time your phone went off, Rafes face lit up on the screen.
It all came to a head one night when Rafe called you during a movie night. He knew how your friends felt about him, he knew from the moment pope saw both of y’all together in a spot on the beach that was meant to be secluded and the usually levelheaded boy shook his head in disappointment.
“JJs gonna freak.” He had said, thinking he was out of Rafes earshot.
“I can’t help it, Pope.”
“Can’t or don’t want to?” Pope argued, it stung to hear him so blatantly disdainful of your actions.
“He’s different with me.”
“I’m sure he is.” Pope sighed.
Rafe didn’t care what your friends thought of him, they could fuck themselves for all he cared, but he could see the tears forming in your eyes and it made his stomach twist and his heart soften.
And since then if he knows you’re with your friends, he keeps his distance.
But tonight was different, he was sad and drunk, you could hear it in his voice as you ignored the pointed looks your friends were giving you.
“I need to see you.” Rafes voice was rough from exhaustion and his words were slurred by the effect of whatever he drank.
“I’m busy, hon. Is everything okay?” You sat up off the couch, JJ muttered under his breath as he wiped the aggravated expression on his face.
“You mean a lot to me,” he slurred, loud music was being played in the background, getting farther away as the seconds drew on, “you have to know that.”
“I know, baby,” JJ gagged dramatically and John B slapped his arm, you roll your eyes and make your way into the next room, “is something wrong?”
“I love you.” He pouts, his voice thick with drunken emotion.
“Oh yeah?” You smile, leaning against the porch railing.
“Yeah, I just- Top was being stupid and he was drunk and everyone was drunk and I might have been a little drunk but- that-that- it’s not the point.”
“What is the point?” You ask him and he sighs deeply.
“Well Top said something and he was so- I don’t think he knew what he was saying but we kinda got into it and he said- he just-” Rafe stops speaking abruptly and you hear a slight hiccup on the other end of the call, “I just really need to see you, I-i wanna hold you.”
“Rafe-” you start.
“You’re so nice to hold, did you know that? I love holding you. Just come here, let me hold you.” He pouts.
“Rafe, I’m with my friends right now, I can’t just leave, they’d be pissed if I flaked on them.” You reason and Rafe groans loudly.
“Just one time, baby. I miss you, I need to hold you. I-I just need to be able to- just please come over.”
“I can’t, Rafe. They’re already pissed that you called me tonight, but tomorrow morning I will be there to nurse your hangover and to hold you like my life depends on it.”
The silence on the other end of the phone call feels never ending and then the call ends and you’re left sitting there, wondering what the hell had gotten into him tonight.
You head back to the living room, taking back your spot on the couch.
“What’d he want?” JJ asks bitterly and pope flicks him on the temple.
“He just missed me.” You shrugged, refocusing on the tv.
“I’m sure he did.” JJ sighs.
“JJ, come on.” Sarah nudges his leg from her place on the floor.
“What do you mean ‘come on’? Are we just going to keep acting like absolutely nothing is happening? Like we don’t have a problem with this shit?”
“We don’t have a problem with it, Jaje. You do.” Kie sighs and JJ shakes his head.
“I don’t see why you guys think it’s better to just lie to her to protect her feelings, were her friends, we’re supposed to tell her the truth whether we think she’ll like it or not!” JJ insists and you shuffle uncomfortably in your seat.
“We don’t have a problem with her dating him, we just have a problem with him. She knows that.” Pope shrugs.
“Can you guys not talk about me like I’m not sitting right here?” You mutter under your breath and JJ nods.
“Of course, sweetheart.” He says, turning himself so his feet are sat on the couch in front of him and he’s facing you, “I hate your boyfriend.”
“I know, JJ.”
“And it’s your life so you’re free to do whatever you want, we just don’t get why you’re doing whatever you want- with him.” He explains further.
“Because I like him.” You shrug.
“That’s the part we’re not quite understanding.” JJ clarifies.
“I like him. He’s sweet to me and he always defends me. He respects my emotions and my wishes and he never lets his emotions about the people around me affect how he treats me and I- I like him.” You shrug.
“I genuinely find that hard to believe.” Kie mutters and you scoff.
“Well that makes sense for you kie.”
“What does that mean?” She asks and you shrug.
“Nothing, you’re just a very cynical person.”
“I’m cynical for a reason.”
“I don’t doubt that, I just wish that your trust in my judgment could overshadow that cynicism sometimes.” You argue and she sighs heavily.
“You’re too naive to have good judgement.” Kie accuses and you roll your eyes.
“Okay, Kie.” You sigh, staring at the ceiling.
“We just really don’t want you to get hurt.” Sarah says in an attempt to diffuse the tension.
“I get that, I understand that much, I use don’t understand why you guys won’t trust me on this.”
“We trust you.” Pope says and your skeptical look makes him sigh, “we really do. We’re just kind of wary about him.”
“I know I just- he’s so sweet with me. I feel so protected with him and he’s really different when he’s with me.” You try using your regular argument for ending these discussions but today they aren’t having it.
“I believe you when you say that he has a good streak, I get that, but it’s his bad streak we’re more worried about. What happens when you guys have your first fight? Or when he sees you talking to a different guy and he gets jealous?” Sarah responds calmly.
“We’ve had arguments before, he never lets them escalate past arguments and he’s seen me with different friends of mine that are guys and I mean- he is a bit tenser but the tension diffuses so quickly and he’s just sweet as can be.”
You feel like you’re trying to convince them the tooth fairy is real. They’re all staring at you in utter disappointment and disbelief.
“He’s crazy is what he is.” JJ pipes up and you roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time.
“JJ, I’m really trying. And he is too. He respects my relationship with you guys, even if he’s not y’all’s biggest fan.”
“That is a wild understatement.” John B retorts and you narrow your eyes at him, he speaks up before you can send a snarky remark his way, “he’s reckless and sometimes a danger to even himself. He used to be a raging addict, and even if he’s not still a total dick, he still is the fucking worst.”
“I don’t think you or JJ can say a thing concerning recklessness and he’s been clean for like a year now. He’s doing his best.”
“Say what you want about him, it’s your life so do what you want,” JJ exhales through his nose, “but just know that he’s one bump away from homicidal.”
You stare at each of your friends, the judgmental looks on their faces enough to upset and anger you.
“Why can’t you just trust me? I know him, I know him fully. I know he can be so genuinely sweet and-and the most loving and he has such potential to be so good and he’s trying to get there.” You look at JJ as you begin to tear up in desperation, he doesn’t meet your eyes, his gaze trained on the couch cushion between the two of you, “whatever. No matter how I or he tries to prove it you won’t believe me.”
You get off of the couch and grab your bag from by the coffee table, your friends calling after you.
The only one who gets up to run after you is JJ. He catches up somewhat effortlessly and loops his fingers around your wrist, “sweetheart, come on.”
“You won’t listen to me. I’m not gonna sit in there and listen as you guys insult and degrade my boyfriend. I can’t do it, JJ.” The tears are flowing consistently now and JJ can’t stand seeing you cry but he knows that isn’t any reason to agree with you.
“We just want you safe. I want you safe. We’ve seen the shit he’s capable of and it’s not pretty. He can be reckless and violent and we don’t want that for you. Sweetheart you’ve gotta understand that.” He says, reaching for your other wrist but you shake your head.
“But I’ve also seen what he’s capable of. He can be so good JJ and he really trying, please just- even if you don’t believe me, just trust me.” You plead and JJ just stares at you for a moment. Tears framing his eyes as he tries in earnest to see Rafe as anything that can possibly good for you.
“I’m sorry.” His voice wavers as he drops your hands, “I want to see what you do, I don’t want to spend my energy hating someone who makes you happy but you have to understand-“
“I understand I just- I have to go.” You sniffle and he nods, watching you as you walk away from the house, cursing before dejectedly heading back inside.
->->->->->
Rafe wasn’t home when you got there so you sat on the porch swing, attempting to self soothe as you waited for him.
When his truck pulls up he doesn’t notice you there for a minute as he attempts to find his keys in his pocket.
When he looks up he sees you, curled up on the porch swing.
“Weren’t you drunk?” You sniff and he shakes his head.
“I stopped drinking after I called you, drank some water and waited until I was sober enough to drive, what happened?” He asks, staring at you like you fell from the sky.
“They hate you.” You mumble.
“Who? Your friends?”, You nod and sniffle again, wiping your eyes for the umpteenth time, “let’s go inside, baby.”
He offers you his hands and practically lifts you off of the porch swing, his hand landing on the small of your back as he led you inside and through the house until you got to his bedroom.
He sat you on the bed while he changed, stopping every so often to kiss you on the cheek or forehead.
When he sits back next to you he pulls you into his chest, “what happened, baby?”
“You called and the I went inside and they just started saying all this shit. I’m not even upset that they don’t like you I just wish they trusted my judgment a bit more.”
“What did they say?” He asks, his voice hardening.
“Rafe-“
“What did they say, sweetness?” His voice softens once again as he refocuses on you, moving the hair out of your face.
“That you’re reckless and violent and that when you were an addict you were-“
“Yeah. Yeah I was.” He sighs, “I get that they don’t like me, that’s fine, and far be it from me to defend those assholes,” you give him a look that’s almost a pout and he backtracks, “I know, let me finish. Everything they said is true, in fact I was probably worse than they described me. And despite how I feel about them, they do really care about you. I don’t think trust they’ve ever questioned their trust in you but me-“
“But you’re trying to be better.”
“I am, sweets, I really am. But that doesn’t change what they saw. They don’t trust me with you. That’s all it is.” He shrugs, kissing your forehead and rubbing the side of your arm.
“You do realize you just spent the last five minutes defending them, right?” You smile and he exhales, letting his head hang dramatically, feigning shame.
“I would rather my ego take a hit than your feelings, baby.” He sighs and you smile wide.
“You’re so sweet.” You gush and he groans, falling back onto the bed and dragging you down with him as you laugh.
“No, I’m not sweet. I’m brooding and surly.”
“Maybe to everyone else but to me you’re just the sweetest.” You smile.
“That’s because you’re impossible to be even a little mean to.” He turns on his side to face you, his head rested on his arm.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that all it takes is those pretty eyes looking up at me and suddenly all the mean bones in my body turn to mush, making it impossible for me to be mean to you.” He jokes, pulling you closer to him by your waist and enveloping you in his warmth.
Everything slips away as he pushes your chin up to reach your lips, his hands making their way into your hair. You hum against his lips, so perfectly content. Once you pull away the blush fans across your cheeks and you hide in his neck.
His chest vibrates against you as he laughs softly at you and your flustered state.
“You’re so damn precious.” He sighs.
“I love you.” You smile shyly and he sighs, his eyes soft and so happy to be holding your gaze.
“I love you too.”
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peachhcs · 8 months ago
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losing the championships
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)
will's self-doubt creeps in after losing the finals making him snap at the one person who's always there for him, almost making her turn her back on him.
2.6k words
warnings: a bit of angst, arguing, crying, this is a sad post in general
ik im feeding y’all rn but i feel weird putting this out in two days and not now haha, but guys you know i had to do it. i had to get the angst out. i think this is like the first angsty post in the series?? i hate when there is angst, but i love writing it lmao. i'm not sure how accurate some of this is, but i hope the trio stays on for another season!! i'd actually be devestated if they don't. anyways keep requesting!! <3
au masterlist
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it didn’t feel real. nothing felt real watching her best friends crumple to the ice in utter defeat and heartbreak just two days after winning the semifinals. samy stood up in the stands nearly motionless while everything around her fell silent. she didn’t think those moments were actually real whenever they played in movies, but here she was hardly focusing on anything but her best friends in tears. 
her eyes couldn’t leave ryan on his knees with his face in the ice. she just wanted to wrap all of them into her arms so none of them would feel this type of pain anymore. 
the stupid jumbotron panned to everyone’s reactions, basically putting the boys on full blast when they most definitely didn’t want anyone to see them crying like they were. samy’s heart only broke further when she finally looked down at her boyfriend trying to hold himself together while comforting a sobbing ryan and teary gabe. 
her own eyes grew teary seeing those three so destroyed not knowing what was next for any of them. that was probably the scariest part. 
when will searched for samy’s gaze the waterworks broke like a dam for the couple. the youngest hughes was completely crying and will’s shame settled into his skin that he lost the game without even scoring a single point. 
their coach urged the boys down the tunnel before the cameras could get any more shots of them. samy tried pulling herself together, but her hiccuping cries didn’t stop slipping out no matter how hard she tried holding them in. 
boston’s side of the lobby was nearly silent which almost mirrored michigan’s team two days ago. suddenly, seeing those happy memories wasn’t as easy anymore. samy’s mind raced wondering if this game really was the last for her favorite trio or if they’d stay on one more season with boston. 
thirty minutes passed before the bc boys slowly trickled out of the locker room. their bloodshot eyes and tear stained faces were enough to send more tears into samy’s own eyes. her lip quivered waiting for her boyfriend to appear, but he didn’t come out after his usual spot behind ryan and gabe. the two boys found samy’s gaze, frowning even deeper. 
“hey, i’m so sorry. i-i have no words,” samy brought them into big hugs hoping to ease a bit of their ache. 
“what a fucking night,” ryan muttered bitterly. 
“you guys played well. those refs were idiots making calls,” the brunette shook her head. 
“will’s still in there. he’s..he’s not taking this one too well. you can go in if you want, but he may explode. I i don’t want you to think he’s mad at you, he’ll just find something to take his anger out on,” gabe explained briefly. samy’s eyes slid towards the locker room doorway where her boyfriend hid. 
“don’t worry, i know how he gets. I’ll see if i can talk to him,” she couldn’t be scared of will. 
he was her best friend and boyfriend. he’d never intentionally hurt her and if he said things, she knew he was just angry with himself, not her. the girl shuffled her way towards the locker room trying to put on a brave face for will’s sake. 
she knocked on the door before slowly pushing it open. her eyes scanned the practically empty room until she found her boyfriend slumped in his stall at the end of the benches. her hands trembled as she slid further in and leaned against the door. 
“will?” 
his eyes snapped towards hers. he looked like a mess and that only unleashed more waterworks seeing him in this state. it wasn’t one samy saw him a lot in, so when she did, it hurt extra hard. 
“if you’re here to try and make me feel better, i don’t wanna hear it,” the boy mumbled bitterly which quickly caught samy off guard. 
she wasn’t expecting that from him so immediately. 
“i’m not. just here to be with you,” the girl said, trying to hide the shake in her voice. 
“well, i’m not really in the mood to be around anyone right now. just go. i’ll be out in a few minutes,” the bitterness in his voice definitely stung, but samy tried shaking him off knowing he was just upset. 
“will..” she inched forward, wanting to reach out to him. he looked as if anyone touched him he’d just break into a million pieces. 
“i said go. i don’t need your fucking sympathy. i feel feel like shit,” the blonde snapped this time making samy instantly draw back. 
“i know you’re upset, i get it. this loss fucking sucks. i’m just trying—” 
“you don’t fucking get it, samy! i just lost the championship game 2-0. we scored zero points. you know how fucking embarrassing that is? i’ve been trying to prove myself all season about how good i can be and then i lose the championship game. you’ll never fucking get it!” there it was. 
will’s tone rose with anger and hurt all mixed into one. samy swallowed the nerves climbing higher in her stomach as she tried remembering none of this was really directed at her. she was just the person will was getting his anger out on. 
“i-i do get it, will. remember my championship game in december? we choked. i-i get it, i do. it sucks and i’m so sorry it ended this way. i wish it didn’t—”
“stop saying you get it. it’s not the fucking same. you’ve never had to work for anything in your life because of your family!” 
the blonde’s harsh words finally hit a nerve. samy’s face twisted and she didn’t know anymore if he really didn’t mean it or not, but through the anger, will realized what he said. 
“samy..i didn’t—”
“fuck you, will. you of all people should know how hard i’ve worked to be where i am right now. i know you’re upset about everything right now, but you don’t need to bring me down to make yourself feel better. don’t bother waiting up. i’m leaving with ryan and gabe,” samy stormed out of the locker room before will could say anything more.
the tears streamed down her face as soon as she was in the lobby again. ryan and gabe instantly noticed her distraught expression, immediately going to her. 
“shit, what happened?” ryan muttered. 
“can we just go? i can’t deal with him right now,” samy choked out. the two exchanged a worried glance, but obliged. 
the whole ride back to the hotel was nothing but silence as everyone reeled from the disappointing night. 
gabe let samy camp out in his hotel room for the night. he didn’t dare ask her what happened in the locker room knowing she’d tell him if she wanted to; however, the dark-haired boy wanted to go knock some sense into will knowing he most definitely snapped too hard at samy which made her want to avoid him. 
it was almost two in the morning when there was a small knock. still awake, the two exchanged wary glances, so gabe got the door. 
he pulled it open to reveal a very weary, teary-eyed, sad, and frustrated will. for a moment, gabe almost let him in, but he stopped himself because he didn’t want the boy blowing up at samy again. the girl sat nervously on the bed just out of sight of the door listening in on them.
“is she here?” will rasped out, voice dry from the amount he cried after samy left the locker room and getting back to the hotel. 
“i’m not sure i wanna answer that,” gabe stood his ground. 
“come on, perreault. leno said he didn’t have her,” will tried again. 
hearing how wrecked he sounded broke samy’s heart all over again. gabe gazed back at her, a look in his eyes asking her if she really wanted to see him. 
even though he insulted her, something in samy was still trying to justify it for him being upset and angry. she really wanted to believe he didn’t mean it. with that, the girl crawled off the bed and shuffled her way behind gabe’s 6’1 figure. 
“we can talk in your room,” samy mumbled. 
“o-okay,” the shake in her boyfriend’s voice made samy want to lunge herself at him and make all the pain go away, but she had to stand up for herself still. 
“you’re sure?” gabe wondered before letting her go. 
“i’m sure. i’ll see you tomorrow,” she rubbed his arm and stepped around him. 
her and will walked three doors down where his hotel room was. it was basically hers too since most of her stuff was scattered across the room over the past few days they’ve been there. 
will shut the door behind them. the brunette looked at him expectantly knowing she said everything she could. a beat of silence passed before the tears quickly filled the blonde’s eyes and he started completely sobbing in front of her. he crumpled against the door, choking sobs falling from his lips as he body sunk into the ground. 
for a second, samy just stared at him until her instincts kicked in and she went to him without hesitation this time. 
“oh will,” she curled into his side, stroking his hair as his body fell into hers. 
“i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean any of it. i don’t know why i said it. i was upset and i know that’s not an excuse at all,” the boy rambled into her shoulder. 
“i know this loss hurts, but taking your anger out on people with harsh words isn’t gonna make it better,” samy said.
“i know, i know. i-i’m so sorry. i shouldn’t have lashed out on you. that’s not fair to you at all.” 
“i was just trying to comfort you like i always do after losses,” the girl hated seeing her boyfriend so upset like this. his tears dripped everywhere on her even after samy tried wiping them away with her thumb. 
“i know. i shouldn’t have pushed you away like that. i just.. I didn’t want you to see me like that,” will’s voice grew softer at his small admission. 
“what do you mean like that?” i’ve seen you lose games before.”
“i don’t know if this is how you felt after your soccer game, but i felt so pathetic for losing a championship game where we didn’t even score. my pride was hurt and i worried you’d think i wasn’t good enough anymore because i lost like that,” his words continued breaking samy’s heart. 
she grabbed ahold of his face so he was looking at her, “i’d never think any less of you because you lost. it happens. you’re not pathetic for losing and i promise it doesn’t make me look at you any differently.” 
“i guess i’m just always scared you’ll get sick of me and realize i’m not actually worth it. that and a hundred other emotions were just going through me and it came out really wrong,” will frowned. 
a small sigh escaped the girl’s lips hearing the boy she’s known all her life doubt himself so much. “you’re always worth it, will. nothing’s ever gonna change that for me, okay? i’m always gonna be in love with you and wanna be around you win or lose, whatever's happening in your career. you’re stuck with me,” a small laugh escaped their lips at the last part. 
“i know that. i just get really doubtful when i get down on myself and hard losses like that happen.” 
“i get it, but i’m not going anywhere, okay? you played your best tonight, those refs were making shit calls and unfortunately, denver just figured us out.” 
a small nod came from will. he pushed his forehead onto samy’s just trying to ease all the thoughts running through his mind while focusing on the way she ran her fingers gently through his hair and around his curls. some of his roots were rough and red from the way he pulled harshly on them earlier, so her gentle motions slowly eased the ache. 
“i’m scared that i don’t know what’s gonna happen next with any of us,” will spoke again after a small silence. 
he lifted his head again to meet his girlfriend’s gaze before leaning it against the door. 
“are you gonna sign on?” the idea played in samy’s mind as well after tonight’s game. 
the decision was entirely up to the coaches of each of the guy’s respective teams, but considering how well all of them played and improved in one season, they may want them sooner rather than later. 
“i don’t know. it’s up to whether the sharks want me now or later,” will answered. 
“have you talked to ryan or gabe? what they may do?” 
“washington’s pushing closer to the playoffs. they may want ryan on for it. i dunno. gabe’s most likely gonna stay. i don’t think the rangers are quite ready for him yet. the ideal situation is we all stay one one more season with boston,” will explained a bit, his fingers drawing mindles shapes into samy’s leg. 
“what do the sharks say about you?” the girl wondered with a raised eyebrow. 
“you know what they say about me. they want me now. they wanna wait another year. it’s..sort of up to me i guess,” will shrugged a bit, avoiding eye contact. 
“would you sign on now?” she rephrased her question from earlier. 
“if i sign on now, my entire life gets flipped around in a week and i have to move to california, but then i’d possibly get to play in the playoffs. if i wait, i get to stay with boston and everyone for another year and more importantly, see you more frequently than if i was in california,” samy rolled her eyes at the last part—he was always so down bad for her. 
“don’t make the decision based on me, will. you’ll see me still.” 
“i know, but i think i do subconsciously anyway. you’re just my life now,” his words sent a deep blush across the girl’s cheeks. 
“i’m flattered,” she rubbed the side of his cheek making him lean into her touch. 
“you’re everything to me, samy. i’m really, really in love with you and i can’t imagine my life without you in it,” will smiled softly. 
the girl flushed, but returned his smile. hearing those kinds of things come out of his mouth was still something the brunette was getting used to even after 9 months of being together. 
“you’re everything to me too, will. i love you a lot.” 
the boy leaned forward to place a gentle, yet loving kiss on her lips. they melted into one another, small sighs escaping their mouths at the contact. her hands tugged at his curls while his own curved around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer like he needed her as close as possible or else he couldn’t function. 
part of it was true. without samy, will was lost like a fish in the ocean. she was a part of him and he was a part of her. they were intertwined and always would be. her soft lips soothed every single thought and self-doubt will had because as long as his favorite girl believed in him, that was all that mattered. 
“i know i said this already, but thank you for being here. it means a lot to me,” will said when they pulled apart. 
“i’d never miss this. i’ll always skip classes for you,” she grinned. 
the boy beamed, pulling her back in for another kiss. 
the two didn’t get into bed until nearly 3:30 in the morning. samy curled into will’s side, his arm tightly around her as she laid on his chest. the tension in the air completely dissipated and the cries died down. things felt okay again. 
they’d sleep tangled in one another all night knowing the next morning samy had to catch her plane back to michigan and will would be left with one big decision that would decide what plane he had to catch. 
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wcbblife · 4 months ago
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Ok I have another one, can you do juju x fem reader where reader is on live and she’s reading comments and someone says “ juju mid asf” and reader defends her by saying “ juju and mid don’t belong together in a sentence unless ‘not is between them’ ” or something like that (idk I was half asleep when i wrote this in my notes so you can change that if you want 😭). Then blocks the person cause she doesn’t allow anyone to talk abt her gf like that . Then juju gets sent the live from her teammates, so she txt reader or post it on twitter saying “my girl 🫡” or something 😭 I just had to write it in my notes before I forgot bruh 😭
Live Love
a/n: Kinda cheesy and short but I like it ngl. Hope you like it anon!
You’re live, chatting with your followers, enjoying the rush of interactions. The comments are flowing in, and you're responding to questions. After seeing fans online practically begging for you to go live following the volleyball team’s tournament win at home, you figured it’d be a great way to kill time while waiting at the airport for your next game. It was mostly fun, a comforting distraction.
You scroll through the comments, selecting a few to answer.
What’s your favorite thing to do on a day off?
“Great question! Honestly, I love just chilling at home, maybe cooking something new or catching up on shows. If Juju’s free, we’ll go grab some food or watch a movie. It’s all about relaxing and recharging.”
More questions flood the chat, and you pick another one.
Any book recommendations?
“Absolutely! I’ve been reading ‘The Song of Achilles’ lately. The writing is beautiful and so immersive. Highly recommend it. It’s a bit sad, though, so read it if you’re into that.”
Do you have any pets?
“Juju got a little puppy recently. You guys should see him—he’s the cutest. Juju calls him our kid now.”
As you continue engaging with the audience, the flood of comments and emojis feels like a warm embrace. But then, a comment stops you in your tracks, and your smile falters.
juju mid asf 😂
You pause, staring at the screen in disbelief. Juju’s been working tirelessly and seeing someone dismiss her like this hits unexpectedly hard. You take a deep breath, trying to calm the fire spreading through your body.
“Now I know I ain’t just read what I think I did, right? Juju mid as fuck? Don’t overstep. Juju’s my girlfriend. Juju and ‘mid’ don’t belong in the same sentence unless ‘not’ is between them, and I’m not going to stand by while people talk down about her in front of me.”
You pause, steadying your voice, determined to stand your ground.
“Keep her name out of your mouth. She’s achieved so much, and she deserves respect, not baseless criticism. You’re not going to get on my live and talk bad about my girlfriend, that’s for sure. I’m blocking you, bruh. Get out of here with that. If you don't have anything nice to say, shut your mouth. Let’s keep the vibes positive.”
Blocking the user brings a wave of satisfaction and relief. You continue engaging with your followers, but a part of you is still buzzing from the need to defend Juju.
“Alrighty, y’all, I’ll have to cut the Q&A short. We have to get on the plane now. Peace!”
Meanwhile, Juju’s phone buzzes with notifications. Her teammates have sent her clips from your live stream that fans had recorded and posted on TikTok. Watching, she feels a swell of pride.
Feeling touched and a bit playful, Juju opens Twitter to share a thought:
“My girl 🫡 #Proud #NotMid”
Shortly after her tweet, your phone vibrates with a text from Juju.
“Saw your live. Thanks for having my back. You’re amazing.”
A smile spreads across your face.
“About to take off. Love you.”
“I love you too, babe. Call me when you land.”
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davenzineveryuniverse · 1 year ago
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If Alex’s, “Fuckin’ ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown Johnn Cusack, and now you won’t even talk to me. I’m really just having a great time here. I can see why y’all had to marry your fucking cousins.” Doesn’t make it into the movie, I’m going to be so sad!!!!!
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strawbrrycuteblog · 11 months ago
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hiiiii (I don't remember but did I req to be 🌀 anon? I can't find the original post but i req for insecure reader) anywayyy
puppy!jake x reader, Jake is in heat poor boy but he doesn't know what to do :((( whenever reader leaves the house he finds himself humping reader pillow with his face buried in readers sweater
when reader finally figures out what's goin on w jake it's cuz jake was trying to secretly (not so secretly tho) touch himself under the blanket they were sharing while watching a movie
I just love this concept smmmm like onfg like I haven't seen anyone do hybrid enha in awhile which is odd cuz jake is the biggest puppy boy ever
(also could u make an anon list pls?)
<3🌀
My eye is twitching. But literally nobody is doing hybrid enha anymore and it’s so sad cause it’s my fav 😭 BUT besides the point yes I will make an anon list and yes I will write this for my lovely 🌀
Warnings: mommy kink, breeding kink, tearing off clothes, nipple play, nudity, mature themes, read at your own risk.
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You’ve been out with your friends for a couple hours, while your puppy boyfriend was at home humping anything and everything he could to sooth the pain of his heat, you weren’t aware yet still out with friends but all he wanted to do was sink into you and breed you desperately…
Jake sat there on y’all’s bed whining into the soft sweater that smelt like you, humping your pillow, his throbbing dick rutting against the soft material, Jake gripped the sweater tighter in his hands burying his face in it, taking deep breaths that only made his hips fuck the pillow faster..wishing it was you, wanting you to just come home right now and make a mess of him.
Jake panted, dropping the sweater with a whimper and he put his hands on the bed, rubbing his sensitive tip against the pillow over and over again, his eyes squeezing shut, his tongue out of his mouth as his tail wagged back and forth.
His ears were flat against his head, wanting nothing more than for this pillow to be the plush walls of your cunny, the way it sucks his dick in and squeezes around him…
“God I’m gonna cum..” he panted out.
Only seconds after he did, all over y’all’s mattress and your pillow.
Until he heard the front door open, the smell of you already hitting his nose, he got up quickly and fixed the bed, flipping your pillow over to the side that didn’t have his white seed splattered all over it, he slipped on his sweatpants and hissed when it touched his still hardened dick.
“Jake I’m home!”
Fuck you didn’t need to tell him, he could practically smell you a mile away.
He went downstairs forcing a smile and walked over to you who was now in the kitchen.
“Hey puppy, I was thinking since I’m kinda tired we could just watch a movie tonight?”
You asked in a soft tone, one that you used when you calmed him all the times he cried from overstimulation.
“Yeah that sounds..”
He paused when you bent over to grab the popcorn bowl in the lower cabinet, he looked at your lace panties under your skirt, how easily he’d slip his dick in.
You handed him the bowel, “I’m gonna go change into comfy clothes you can make the popcorn.”
“Yeah..okay…” was as he could muster out while dirty thoughts ran through his head.
—you sat on the couch as he already picked a movie he didn’t even give two shits about. You smiled and grabbed the bowl eating some popcorn now that you could relax, Jake got comfy with a blanket over himself, he laid down a bit more and looked at you.
You seemed pretty invested in the movie, oh god how he wanted to change that, his hand trailed under the blanket, under the band of his sweatpants.
He looked at the tank top you were wearing which left nothing to the imagination, the thought of your nipples being covered in his saliva, how they would shown from the tv light..
“Fuck..” he cursed out as his hand was already smearing his pre-cum around his shaft, like it was a lube.
You heard it but didn’t think much of it until you heard a whine and you looked over at him, and bloody hell the sight before you was breathtaking
Your puppy boyfriend jerking his dick off, it was a bit funny cause he was trying to quiet his moans but even if he did that you could still feel the blanket moving up and down.
“Your shit at being discreet..” he flinched immediately and stopped after he opened his mouth eyes and saw you looking at him.
“W-who said I was trying to be?..”
You shrugged and got up, pulling the blanket up, he whimpered when the cold air reached his red tip, “poor puppy is in heat huh?” To which he nodded eagerly, before he pulled you on top of him and ripping your top off, leaning up as he lapped at your nipple.
“Jake! Wait slow down!”
“Been waiting for you all day..I can’t stop now baby..I’m in so much pain..”
He sucked half your tit into his mouth, swirling his smooth tongue around your hardened nipple while his hands pushed your legs apart, you moaned as he pressed his dick against your pussy, he pulled away from your boob and licked the other one.
His eyes looking up at you who had her own eyes rolled to the back of your head, your hand pulling his hair that made him start humping your pajama shorts, hating that it blocked off what he wanted most.
You put all your weight on his lap, pushing his leaking penis against you, he moaned around your nipple that sent vibrations through your body.
“Ah Jake! Please!”
“Needed you all day long…”
You were the one whining now while he had the fun, he started pulling away your shorts, tossing them to the floor and ridded himself of his sweats, he positioned himself in front of your fuck hole and pushed in forcefully.
“Oh god..so tight…just like our first time all over again mommy..”
You found it cute that even when he was trying to dominate you he still called you mommy. You whined and moaned into his mouth as you kissed him roughly, some opened mouthed kisses with your tongue fighting for dominance over the other.
He slammed his hips up into you, desperately wanting to breed you, thoughts of your swelled up tummy with his little pups drove him further to the edge, he looked up at your body, your tits bouncing up and down every time his throbbing tip hit your cervix.
“Oh shit..” he spoke as soon as his eyes caught a glimpse of the bulge through your stomach, he grabbed your hand quickly in fear he’d lose the bulge, pressing your hand against it with his.
“Feel that? All up in your guts..”
“Jake please cum…wanna carry your puppies..”
“S’too much!! Gonna cum!”
“Go ahead baby…gonna breed me up?..get rid of his painful heat..”
He came in second hearing your words, his seed spurting messily into your warm walls, after a few second you started to get off his lap, he held your hips..”please..stay..wanna stay inside..”
You only nodded and laid down with him, pulling the blanket over, rubbing his ears as you both slowly fell asleep.
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I’m foaming at the mouth when it comes to hybrid enha.
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spliffymae · 1 year ago
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nobody has to know, a. ojiro
synopsis: it’s caribana season, but instead of catching the dirtiest of wines, aran is moping at his place, thinking about you.
⚠️afabreader, fwb!aran, aran post time skip, reader is caribbean, established fwbs, jealous aran, smut, mentions of phone sex, implied (un)protected sex, MINORS DNI !
kio’s notes - wishin all y’all a hot girl/boy/person summer !!!!
now playing
⊱ ──────── {.⋅ ✺ ⋅.}──────── ⊰
“y/n, you know you have to get permission before you can walk out like that.” your friend teased you once she saw your costume. it was the day of caribana, a day that shouldn’t have tasted bittersweet on your tongue, but did when you realized you wouldn’t be going with aran, your original date for the day.
you kissed your teeth as you grabbed your keys off the counter, dropping them in the side bag strapped to your waist.
“fuck permission. and fuck ojiro’s goofy ass anyways”
3 weeks earlier….
“oh my god, you’re fucking stretching me outtt.” you whine, your lips pouty with fat tears rolling down your face. you were sitting on aran’s lap, being slid down onto his hard dick as you two sat on the couch in your living room.
aran doesn’t respond just yet. he’s too busy trying to keep his composure, stopping himself from cumming before he can really enjoy you.
“aren’t you glad i answered that call, hm? got to give your spoiled ass just what you needed to feel better.” he was a deep baritone in your ear, the velvet of his durag slightly rubbing against your face when he lowered to speak to you.
“but i-it’s not what i wanted.” you let out with a huff. “you’re playing games with me right now, oji.” you were trying really hard to not be the whimpering, babbling mess he knew you were. you were trying to prove him wrong.
aran laughed, “like you weren’t playing games when you let that whack ass take you out. now be good and watch the movie.”
he was right. after all, this all started because you called him to fix a bad hookup you had with a good first date.
“it’s 2am, i thought you and whatshisface were linking.” aran was curious when your name popped up on his phone. after you told him about the date and texted him that the guy wasn’t a creep, he figured he’d hear from you in the upcoming days.
“the stroke game was nonexistent. he came from a handjob and couldn’t get it back up. i’m mad i wore this for nothing.” you were on facetime, so aran could see the annoyed look on your face; the way your brows knitted together and creased, with your eyes filled with disappointment. your brown lips were pushed out in a pout and without a second thought, you flipped your camera to show your mirror. you stood in a pink lingerie set, and the sight of you had aran’s cock twitching in his pyjama pants.“i don’t get it. i look so pretty tonight, oji. don’t i?”
the way his name fell from your mouth made his heart skip. the neediness in your tone, the yearning he could hear just from his name. how you wanted him. aran swallowed back the carnal groan that tried to creep its way out his mouth, “yeah, you look so pretty, princess.” he said with a comforting smile. he looked back up at his tv, his nba 2k23 mycareer opened with his friends spamming his chat and yelling at him to snap back to reality and back to the game. his mic was on, but he had muted them to focus on you. they, however, could hear you two.
you sighed, “can you come make me feel better? …i don’t feel pretty.” and aran hated that you let this dickhead get to you like this. how you looked in the mirror with sad eyes. he knew you shouldn’t have gone on that date. he knew you weren’t gonna be satisfied with anyone but him.
“of course, i’m comin’ right now.” he didn’t waste a secon contemplating on whether he should leave to go to you at 2am. he turned off his ps4 and hung up the call, grabbed a t-shirt, hoodie, his phone and his car keys, and was on his way to you.
2 weeks earlier…
“bro, you literally just disappeared on us last week. you know that was the only free time all of us had.” osamu pushed aran as the two stood in the starbucks line. they were meeting some friends from high school at the coffee shop to hang out. since graduation, each of them went their separate ways, focusing on achieving their respective goals. they always made time to hang out once a week though.
aran mumbled a meaningless apology, “sorry man, had to take care of something.” he wasn’t sorry. he honestly didn’t care. if he could choose between playing video games with his friends or spending a night in you, he would pick you everytime.
“something or someone. y’know one day we’re gonna have to meet this girl. it’s been going on for so long now.” samu gave aran a final look before stepping up in the line. he was next to order, watching as the girl in front of him stepped to the side.
you had looked up from your position at the cash register of your job to see two familiar faces. one being your friend osamu from volleyball camp, and aran—the man, who just last night, was moaning into his phone about how bad he needed you while he pumped his hand around his cock.
“y/n! looking radiant as ever!” osamu winked.
you flashed a smile,“thank you osamu, what can i get y’all today?”
“i’ll take a white chocolate mocha, spinach and feta egg wrap, and the truth from aran about his secret girlfriend!” the last part came out of nowhere catching both you and aran off guard. you laughed a bit, but out of pure nervousness. your heartbeat even increased.
“samu!” the young man yelled, giving osamu a slap to his shoulder.
you simply giggled, “this girl must be pretty special if you gotta keep her a secret, oji.” the nickname didn’t come out in the usual way aran was use to hearing. with your voice breathless and filled with an adoration for him. instead it was purely friendly, with a little hint of playfulness. it was different, and it made him miss the former.
“there’s no girl, samu. i ain’t find anyone worth my time, alright? aran ojiro is meant to be a free bird, so let me fly.” aran said as he walked to the other open register, eyes completely missing you as he gave a flirty smile to your coworker. and of course, she loved it. you on the other hand, found yourself to be irked.
1 week earlier…
“bro, you seriously ghosted me over something you took out of context?” aran had finally gotten the chance to be face to face with you after a week of radio silence from you. you two had both shown up to kita’s birthday party. you had come just to show face. you weren’t gonna stay—you were simply there to hand kita his gift and leave before a certain six foot wing spiker showed up.unfortunately, aran spotted you handing the present off to kita with an apologetic smile, attempting to leave before you could see him.
before you could step off the porch, aran had dragged you back into the house, disregarding the looks from guests and protests from you, and pulled you upstairs into the bathroom. he pressed you on your absence, on how you refused to pick up his calls and leave his texts on delivered.
“i’m letting you fly, what’chu mean? you’re a free bird, right?” you knitted your brows in curiosity, “i mean,” you smiled, “that’s what you said…right?”
aran pinched the bridge of his nose out of frustration. he leaned against the bathroom counter, standing in front of you, seated at the edge of the tub in front of him. “seriously? i was just saying that to get samu off my back. and even if i meant that shit, so what? we’re just fucking.”
you scoffed, “so now it’s just fucking?…don’t give me that shit, aran. you and i both know we passed ‘just fucking’ a long time ago. but you wanna go flirt with other people in front of me? like you weren’t on my phone begging for me?” you had an attitude, that was for certain.
“bro, why are you trying to make this complicated? i swore we weren’t supposed to be anything serious.” he was defensive, honestly he didn’t know why. he just didn’t like how you were coming for him.
you nodded, “right. so we can just act like we don’t care for each other.”
“i didn’t say all that. i’m just not understanding why you’re getting at me over a misunderstanding.” he honestly wasn’t looking for this. he was just hoping to get a brief explanation and maybe even a lil’ sum sum, but instead he was getting an earful. and it wasn’t an earful of your moans, the way he had hoped.
“because i like you, asshole. because you fuck me and say shit like ‘this my pussy’ or ‘i’m the only one for you’. because you take me out and shower me with affection. because you’re there whenever i need you. and you expect me to what? not feel a way? be okay with you flirting with other girls in my face?what, am i just hear to make you hard?” you raise your arms in frustration.
it was clear from his reddened eyes he had smoked, and the vodka breezer he held in his hand let you know he was lightly drinking too. you say all this because it had to be these factors that made him respond to you the way he did. with a half smirk and laugh, “what’s wrong with just making me hard?”
but you found nothing funny about this. not anything about you finally telling him how you felt was funny to you. it was a pain. a giant and irritating one that you wanted to be free of, but somehow just seemed to worsen. “you know what, you clearly don’t care so i’m not gonna either. see you around, oji.”
the nickname was in a different tone this time around. no adoration, no playfulness. you spoke it flat, with no emotion. and as you stood up and left aran in the bathroom by himself, with the last words being his name in such an emotionless voice, he couldn’t help but think he might have fucked that up.
present…
aran was sitting on his front porch, spliff in hand as he looked down at his phone. today was caribana. he was supposed to be there with you. but instead he was nursing what kita described as a ‘cracked heart’.
he was thinking about you. about how hurt you looked as you left the party. you went radio silent on him afterwards. didn’t hit him up for anything; not to link, not to fuck, not to talk...you were ojiro free—and he hated it!
“so y/n was the secret girlfriend.” osamu had come outside from the kitchen, two cold beers in his right hand.
“wasn’t a girlfriend.” aran mumbled, taking a pull from his spliff.
osamu rolled his eyes, “shut up, she might as well been. look how she got you. meanwhile where is she?” it was meant to be a rhetorical question, but aran took it literally. with his phone in his other hand he went to instagram and ironically, your story was the first in the long and seemingly endless line of instagram stories. he tapped the icon, immediately seeing a video of you posing in your costume with shensea’s shen yeng anthem coming through your phone.
osamu leaned over to see you and mindlessly whistled at your appearance. “you fumbled a serious bag, my friend.” he ignored the glare aran sent his way because he knew aran knew he was right.
“shut the hell up.” the bitter man mumbled, eyes looking back on his phone to see the next story you posted. it was you on the street, posing with people from your band as you all held up your country’s flag. aran got a better look of your costume. the way that its colors; the purple bands and silver jewel stoned garments that connect to them, brought out your rich and warm undertone the way your headpiece demanded the attention to be on you. you were all smiles with your girlfriends, and aran loved to see you happy. your smile was probably his favorite thing about you.
pissed him off he wasn’t the one making you smile like that, though.
“tsumu just texted me that he sees her.” osamu said just as the timer for your story ran out. it then went to atsumu’s who was holding his phone high up, recording not only him walking w the parade of people, but walking behind you…who was carelessly wining against his crotch to the sounds of gyal you a party animal.
osamu had just so happened to glance back at aran’s screen and his mouth instantly fell at the sight. there was his twin brother, handing his phone off to someone next to him as he flipped to the back camera. he took your hips in his hands and began to move against you making you cheer in excitement.
it was all harmless, a careless bubble he caught because he was your friend. there was nothing serious about it, and that is what made aran the most upset. to know you were okay to do that. because you weren’t his, he had no right to get mad at you just dancing with atsumu because you two are not together, that’s what he knows you’d say if he were to bring this up. but he made it his right to have, the jealousy. because who did you think you were to move against any other man the way you moved against him?
osamu wanted to laugh! because of course this would happen to aran. of course the man who was ‘too busy for love’ would find himself pining after “the one that got away”.
some time had passed and aran was now three spliffs in, a beer in hand as he sat on the beanbag in his room. some random show was playing in the back, but all his attention was on the various instagram and snap stories you posted. he would even watch the snaps of your friends just to see if he’d catch you doing anything. yeah, he was down so bad. here you were having so much fun without him. so much so that not only was he annoyed, but he finally decided to just cave and text you.
ojiro (don’t answer rn)
honestly i’m too high
but fuck it you won
i care about you
and you make me hard
so call me when you see this
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